In April 2024, I had the privilege of shooting some BTS for part of indexthumb's ongoing project CALL ON ME ME ME. A three-channel video installation where hand-processed 16mm video transfer is mixed with digital black and white footage are coupled with an overlapping set of audio interviews and a fragmented musical score.
I: "I wanted to explore the different senses of masculinity that existed between my father, myself and my grandfather as well. We have experienced masculinity and the experience of manhood so differently. Partly because of our internal makeup, whatever our internal gender experiences are. But also culturally, historically, there was a really interesting complex structure going on that I wanted to investigate."
It's been 18 months since the inception of the idea, and indexthumb has been working on the project as part of their MA Artist's Film and Moving Image at Goldsmiths in London. Having followed the process from the sideline I have been continuously impressed by their curiosity, thoroughness, and vulnerability.
I: "The only time I had seen my father cry was when he was talking about my grandfather; the hardship that my grandfather experienced financially and also his experiences in the Second World War. It was a very clear point of meaning for my dad and it was a point of meaning for me - seeing my dad become vulnerable like that. So I felt there was a lot to uncover and unfold, and perhaps in the process of making that work, nourish my relationship with my father which has been historically very stiff and repetitive. It feels like we are playing parts that don't fit either of us, and I wanted to see if I could shift that."
CALL ON ME ME ME has evolved in conversation with indexthumb''s dad.
I: " Surprisingly he was immediately up for the project. I don’t think he understood at first the extent at which he would be involved. I got pizza with him when I moved back to the UK. I was like I wanna do this project and I would love to have your participation and learn more about your relationship to your father. And he just said okay!
And I was shocked, it was a curveball, cause he started spewing just over pizza. I couldn’t even record that audio cause it was too loud. So that was really cool and I think it signalled to me that he was eager to connect in this way."
I: "Over the course of a lot of different conversations I introduced the idea of recording audio and eventually using the audio. And at every stage I was asking for consent to do that because it is such intimate personal work. And it would just be so messed up not to do that. But it ended up basically being a collaboration with my father and he revealed this whole family archive that he had; of his own childhood but also a lot of documents relating to my grandfather. I wouldn’t have been able to do this project the way it ended up without my dad’s involvement."
I: "Originally I wasn’t going to use any of the interviews. I was just gonna use them to gather information and write this voice over; like a sort of poetic voice over. But actually, it was one of my tutors who encouraged me to use the interviews as real honest material. And I am so glad she suggested that because I think it’s much more vulnerable. And I allowed myself to be interviewed as well. It’s more omnidirectional in terms of its perspective. And the way that the installation turned out now, with a sorry of conversation, is a product of that."
indexthumb often humbly speaks with warmth of how collaboration is the backbone of most projects. For CALL ON ME ME ME they had assistance from other artists and friends throughout the filming process. When I came to join the team for some set photography, indexthumb was filming in their dad's building in central London.
I: "It was a really surreal experience to film in my dad’s office and home. To me it’s metonymic for him, I guess. This architectural expansion of everything that he has built over the years. And his own psyche and preferences."
I: "To embody him within that space was it’s own project in a way. In some ways it felt a little deviant, a little cheeky. Like I was reclaiming this space, this castle - of my father.
And in other ways it felt really appropriate for the space, because it’s a therapeutic space it’s a therapy building and it is about healing. And particularly spiritual healing. So it felt like the project - that section of the project - was suited to filming there. It was cool as well, cause it was totally empty so we had the run of the place. I love filming in empty spaces and drawing out whatever aura exists in that space. So it was really cool to play with such a big building and fill it with light like I wanted."
When reflecting on the process and the final installation, indexthumb underscores how important landscapes and architecture have been in bringing out the essence of the work. As the three videos run off live software, they create an ever transforming loop that will never repeat itself; "an alchemical process that is as incomplete, transformative, and alive as the relationships it articulates."
I: "The initial conception was quite different from how it ended up. /…/ It took a direction into something a little bit more narrative and surrealistic. Initially I planned to shoot everything in a studio.
I think because I felt like the minimal version wasn’t able to address any of the historical context which to me is just fundamental to understanding my father and my grandfather. And I wanted to incorporate that visually somehow because there is also something just… there is more than just the body in this. Discussions around the transcendental and the spiritual. They are captured in the landscape and in the architecture in ways that couldn’t be done in a studio. In that sense it changed quite a lot."
indexthumb is a moving image and contemporary movement artist who is currently based between London and Berlin. Their work refuses to be categorised by genre but remains haptic and sensory. Through thorough research, technical virtuosity and visualisation, they explore topics of queer and trans* experience, embodied perception and encounters with magic - but their work spans far beyond that.
The installation CALL ON ME ME ME is shown as part of the Goldsmiths AFMI Degree Show (11-16th of July 2024).